She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize