Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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