saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Duck Duck Cougar?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
