Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
