I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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