did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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