I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
