yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
