No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
