I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize