i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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