Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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