I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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