If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
