I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
