I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
Hahaha April fools!
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck