if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.