your parents love me but you hate me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw