FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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