Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
