This dress was meant to end up on your floor
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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