I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
