i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i wish my penis had a tongue
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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