I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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