Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
