i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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