Got a toothbrush?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Randomize
