Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
