I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize