Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
