New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
