omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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