Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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