I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
