so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
vagina is talking i cant
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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