so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
