does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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