those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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