Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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