If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
