Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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