Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
