your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
