the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
