I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
