she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
