I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm like, not good at living.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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