I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
