I want to stick my p in your. b.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
