If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
