areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
