he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i drank out of a bidet.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
