Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
