As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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