If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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