real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
