no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
