Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
