brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
