he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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