I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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