Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
