not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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