Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
