no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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