I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize