I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
