i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
