There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
