windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
