I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
