is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
