Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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