We're like a lot better than the average bears
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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