I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
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