why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
