I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
